The not-so-glamorous truth to traveling on business

I have just returned from my business trip.  I have documented all the reasons why I found this trip incredibly enjoyable  (yes, sarcasm intended here):

(1)   Poo to the First Class Champagne Sippers. Yes, we get that you are special.  But people like me don’t like people like you. You get to board the plane first, exit the plane first, you get the full attention of the crew and by the way how does that champagne taste?  Forgive me for staring, while I wait on line to find my seat.

(2) Connections and Airport Signs.  I generally avoid having to make a connection at all costs. For this trip, I didn’t have a choice. Tell me, why don’t they test the signs hanging in the airport before they unleash them to the general public?   One sign sent me in a direction that was apparently not necessary (the long way) and given I had 10 minutes to catch a connection I did not appreciate being mislead.  I don’t mean to offend anyone here but…. Dallas Airport you stink!

(3) The man who was not helpful.   The man sitting next to me on the plane was very interested to learn where I was headed next. Maybe he sensed my stress that I only had 10 minutes to catch my connection. He asked all sorts of questions he even told me he was from the area so it might have been nice if he warned me about the crappy airport signs.   I saw him again as I made my decent down the long corridor and he hollered out  “Oh, you didn’t need to follow that sign you should have kept going straight!”   Asshole.  Thanks for the heads up buddy.

(4) Onions and Coffee.  We all had planes to catch so we scarfed down our boxed lunches so darn fast I don’t even remember what type of sandwich it was .  I do remember the nasty onion aftertaste.  I proceeded to have coffee at the airport. What a bad combination. Perhaps this is why the man in #3 didn’t tell me about the crappy airport signs!!   Lesson?  always carry gum.

(5) The Middle Seat.  Why in God’s earth did the travel department put me in a  middle seat? GRRRRR!   I was not particularly fond of the dude on the left with his way-too-loud music or the dude on the right who was watching a movie on his iPad that had naked ladies in it.   Question? when sitting in the middle which arm rest can you claim as yours????  Most people are righties so I say the right?   Man to my right was an armrest hog.

(6) Team Bonding.   In my 3 day conference it was decided we needed a night of bowling. Oh, wonderful.  The only time I go bowling is with the kids which means we generally play with the bumpers up so I had no clue how this would turn out.  Lord knows the last thing I wanted to do was make a total jackass out of myself. People remember this sort of stuff.  Not to mention the shoes were slippery and I was über paranoid I’d go flying on my tush.  Thank god I came out on top. I won the first game!  hoot – hoot!

(7) Hotel Paranoia = No Sleep.   Thank you to the news for making us so aware about the problem with Bed Bugs lurking across all hotels in America.  I went to sleep prepared in full body armour: sweats, sweatshirts, socks. Nothing was getting next to me if I could help it.   The problem was further exacerbated by my paranoia that I would not hear my iPod alarm or the wake up call. Fearing I would miss my meetings I woke up every hour on the hour feeling itchy while profusely sweating from all the clothes.  Needless to say, I am now exhausted.

(8) While traveling, It’s really hard to not eat like crap.   There was little healthy food in sight on this trip. Not to mention I was in Texas so the menu was BBQ and lots of it.   Next time, I will remember to pack some granola bars and healthy snacks.  I should have learned this lesson by now.

Yeah, so that about sums up my business trip.  Somewhere in-between all of the above I learned a lot and met lots of cool new colleagues and have oodles and oodles of work to do 🙂

I’m looking forward to the next trip.




  1. The thing I noticed about traveling for business though is the connections are much closer than when you are traveling with kids. Never fails when I am with the kiddos I have a 3 mile hike I have to do at a fast paced run dragging them as they pull their cutesy bags. Then as you arrive to the gate looking like a hot mess, no one makes eye contact with you for fear of being placed next to you on the plane.

  2. Newest reader here.

    Really enjoy your blog. Many great posts!

    Y’all went bowling – we went o a bar and did Karaoke – now that was REALLY bad!

    Hope over and visit me at

    Many thanks1

  3. No good! Travel horror stories are always funny later, though. Like when I spent 2 hours travelling around GHW Airport for no reason other than a snowglobe couldn’t go through customs. The baggage check was “right around the corner.” Then after that, I found out it was one of the only airports I have ever been to that didn’t have a smoking lounge. And I was stresssssed. And then the time I had to stay at a hotel with no electricity because all of the flights were cancelled bc of a blizzard. No discount from the hotel either. Wait, maybe it’s still not funny…

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